It is not a happy day when you realize your manager hates you. Hate might be a strong word, but it’s the best way to face facts. Sometimes, the relationship between you and administration is not that perfect thing you read about in management books where you go out to lunch and then happily work on projects into the night while sipping on cappuccinos. But what to do when your boss hates you? Read on to find out.
1. Is It Hate or Disagreement?
As noted in the introduction, hate is a strong word as well as a strong feeling. Most people don’t actually get there because it’s difficult to feel that way about a person you barely even know. Think about it. You are just one of your boss’ employees, and you see him or her once, maybe twice a week, if that.
Therefore, you need to find out if he or she truly hates you or is just disagreeing with your ideas. If we’re talking about the former, then proceed to the following steps.
2. What Do the Others Say?
Try to get a second opinion from one or more of your colleagues. Make sure it’s someone you can trust is not going to side with management and that it’s a person who likes you and can be honest with you. What do they think? Have you been singled out in this situation? Does your boss actually have something personal against you?
3. Don’t Sit Around
The best thing here is to do something about it. If you feel something is wrong, there’s no point in mulling over it. This will affect your productivity as well as your happiness and your time with the company. Just thinking about it is enough to make you miserable. Therefore, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. What to do when your boss hates you? Act on it. Which brings us to this.
Recommended read – What to Do When You Hate Your Boss: Making the Relationship Work
4. Diplomacy Is Key
The best thing you can do is to speak directly, calmly, and elegantly. Take your boss out to lunch, in a quiet place where he cannot leave or create a big scene if he is uncomfortable. Use positive bookends for your conversation. In other words, start by saying how much you like working for the company and how much you enjoy his sense of direction and leadership. However, state clearly what has been bothering you by using sentences such as ‘I feel that X.’
Do not use accusatory phrases that start with ‘you.’ Always talk about yourself, calmly and composedly. Again, end your discourse on a positive note saying how grateful you are to him or her for being so open and taking the time to have this conversation.
Even though it seems a lot easier just to give up or keep quiet, knowing what to do when your boss hates you is, in fact, crucial. It’s part of learning how to manage yourself and remain happy at a job you love or need. Let us know in the comment section below how you have handled a grumpy boss in the past.