How to Tell Your Boss You’re Upset without Damaging the Relationship

two colleagues talking over a cup of coffee

As much as we’d love to have a perfect relationship with our bosses, the truth is that at some point in time, almost all of us will feel upset with the way they handled something, and we’re going to have to let them know that without damaging the relationship. If you’re unsure of how to do that, you’re going to love the topic of today’s article. We’re going to teach you how to tell your boss you’re upset in a way that will keep your relationship unaffected.

Many people are afraid of their boss’ reaction to them opening up. The fact that they might act defensively or even aggressively is something you have to accept.

How to Tell Your Boss You’re Upset in a Constructive Manner

1. Support Your Case with Evidence

If whatever made you upset with your boss was an isolated incident (and not an extremely serious one), and you have no reason to believe it will happen again, you shouldn’t bring it up. On the other hand, when something becomes a pattern, you’re going to have to speak up. Something that will convince your boss of the reality of your complaints is bringing evidence that supports your case. If the evidence is clear, he or she won’t be able to deflect the blame. In fact, they might be doing it without even realizing, and your case could help them break that bad habit.

2. Provide Feedback

Your boss will never know how you regard your relationship and if there’s something that bothers you about it unless you tell him/her. Still, you have to keep in mind that the feedback must be constructive in order to make a change. As long as you’re respectful and you come up with intelligent solutions, you’re going to improve your relationship with your boss in no time. Just remember that there isn’t always a good time for feedback. Ideally, your boss should ask for it. If not, you should at least ask them whether this would be a good idea or not before offering it.

3. Hold Your Ground

Being respectful and trying to maintain a good relationship with your boss doesn’t mean you should allow him or her to intimidate you. Many people are afraid of their boss’ reaction to them opening up. The fact that they might act defensively or even aggressively is something you have to accept. Even so, you shouldn’t back off or decide not to provide them with your arguments because of that fear. At the same time, if you think this might jeopardize your job, you could wait for a more appropriate moment.

4. Don’t Go Over Their Head

One of the worst things you could do when you’re upset with your boss is talk about it to a higher authority. As long as the problem is between you and him/her, you should try to resolve it as such. Going over their head might cause them to resent you, and could deteriorate your relationship. Talk to them first, and only if that doesn’t work, consider going to a higher authority.

As long as you follow the advice above on how to tell your boss you’re upset, the situation won’t change your relationship. As much as you might want to avoid such a conversation, you should never allow things to escalate.

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Author: Amanda Knowles

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